Blogs and readers(stats)

Earlier today ...... No wait it is yesterday by now.

Any way . Earlier on this blog I received 2 comments on my last post. One was from Matt at the Church of no People.

The other was from Tony C of Tony C Today.

Now Tony said :"Keep writing and people will find you and follow your blog." and I responded by saying :"I could not really care whether people read my blog or not. "

(Reading it again now that actually sounds a bit harsh.)

Then , later on , I realized that what I said was a contradiction to one of my earlier posts this month where I said that I blog because I wanted people to read.

And so I am here , to try and sort out the confusion.

I do not really mind how many people read my blog. Especially people from outside of my circle of friends. Make no mistake ... I am flattered that people like Tony and Matt take the time to read a bit and actually comment on my blog. But I am surely not Blogging to create a following . I blog for me. I blog to sort out my thoughts and put my struggles down on paper webspace. If , by chance, or maybe by God's guidance, someone I do not know reads my blog and finds a grain of wisdom , or a similar struggle or some comfort in my blog then that is good. But that is surely not my main purpose to this blog.

I do hope that my friends do read my blog, because I think that reading my blog might give them an insight into my thoughts and my emotions that they would not otherwise have had. I hope that by reading each others blogs we would see the needs and share the pain of this circle of friends. That we would be able to carry each others burdens

And so I write in order to be honest. To put my heart on my sleeve and leave my masks at the door firewall and just be me. To show those interested enough in me the real me. And if, after they have read my blog and seen the real me, they still want to be my friends then I know that I have true friends.

It is nice to know that there are people who read my blog. But , it is not essential to my blog's survival. Even if I had no readers , I would still blog.

Some more exhibitionism

This morning , with yesterdays post on blogging still in my mind , I sat in front of my Pc and looked at my earlier blogs.

If you are a sucker for punishment , you are welcome to go and look at my previous blogs.

125th @ f8 - starts my blogging experience in 2005. And then appears and disappears until 2007. where I then start a new blog called :

The sometimes cynical opinions of Mev. Dominee. this ran from 2007 until early 2008. somewhere in the middle I changed the name to 'The bloggger formerly known as Mev Dominee'

As always with Blogs it is best to start at the bottom and work up just to make sure that you keep a sense of chronology.

But anyway... I have realized that blogging has become a part of my life. There were times when I blogged more , or less, but always I returned.

And now , I can look back at about 4 years of blogging and see how I have grown. And reflect on the good and the bad times. And through it all I can see God working in my life.

Exhibitionism and voyeurism

Better know as Blogging and blog reading . ‘Cause let us face it . Blogging is a form of exhibitionism and reading blogs a form of voyeurism.

But let us start at the beginning. The question in mind my mind that gave rise to the thought above was this : Why do we blog ?

A question that I wondered about a lot in the last while. I can only answer for myself .

I Blog beacsue I need to. It is a way for me to organize my thoughts. To Share my feelings and to bitch when things go wrong. Speaking off …. I used to bitch a lot on my blogs. And I know why.

Let me backtrack a bit. When I was younger I used to write. Nothing profound. Nothing that would ever have been published. But things that came from my heart. Things that dealt with my pain and struggles and joys. Personal things. Originally, when I started blogging , the plan was to write those things. But then I realized that the people who know me read my blogs. And that especially my (ex)wife read my blog. And that the things I write had the potential to hurt her. And so I did not write the deep things. Stupid ,don’t you think?

And so my blogs changed into bitching pages. Moaning about things gone wrong , etc.

And so for me , as I go into this new phase of my life , this would have to change. I have decided to be honest about and with myself. And to write what I feel.

And of you , the reader , I ask this. Please do not take what you read on this blog personally. Please see in it my need to be honest with myself and about myself. Please understand that I do not write to hurt anybody. But that I write to share , who I am , what I feel , and where I am .

And so , back to the question : Why do I blog ?

I blog , because I want people who know me to read. Because I want them to see a side of me that is sometimes so very well hidden. To share my pain and joy . I blog , because sometimes it is easier to share what is inside than it is to do face to face.