Verse for the day

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Phillip Tunnel, Hankey

Today , Neville , Sandy , Captain Tupperware and I went for a Sunday afternoon drive and ended up at a place called Phillip Tunnel.

Here is a little bit of info on the tunnel as I could find on

William Philip, son of Dr John Philip head of the London Missionary Society in South Africa, studied surveying in Cape Town from 1834 to 1836. Later he trained as a missionary in Britain and in 1841 he returned to the mission station at Hankey.

At the time Hankey was experiencing a serious water shortage, Philip therefore examined the site and discovered that he could lead water out of the Gamtoos River onto the settlement's farm-lands. This would, however, involve the construction of a tunnel through the cliff which, for those times, was a formidable undertaking.

Philip and his Hottentot labourers started digging in 1843 and within little more than a year they had completed a tunnel of 228m long.

This tunnel has been declared a national monument and the commemoration plaque was unveiled on the same day as the opening of the Kouga Dam. The tunnel is no longer in use.

and 2 pics of me and Neville playing with my Camera and Multi exposure flash techniques.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


I was browsing back through old blog posts. Both my own and Alet's. And I came across this post that she made nearly a year ago :

"mag jy mooi wees as die lelik verby is
en jy sag kyk na elke harde tyd
mag jy bly wees as die huil verby is
en jy vrede he na die stryd

verkeerde goed kom more weer reg
en die wyn is soet na die bitter en sleg

mag jy opstaan as jy seer geval het
en jou vrae verdwyn as die antwoord kom
mag jy huis toe kom as jy klaar verdwaal het
en die winter los vir die son

en mag jy droom, mag jy ook vergeet
en op plekke woon wat van horisonne weet

jy kan opstaan as jy seer geval het
en jou vrae verdwyn as die antwoord kom
jy kan huis toe kom as jy klaar verdwaal het
en die winter lost vir die son"

- opstaan ; Koos van der Merwe (Lid van die musik groep Prophet)

Monday, August 10, 2009

I am back

What an absolutely stunning weekend I have had.

Left for Stormsriver mouth around 9:30 on Saturday and arrived at my campsite by 11:30. Set up my tent and trailer and just relaxed.

Got some very nice pics of the wildlife and the scenery.

Drove back this morning and on impulse turned of the Main highway and took the R102 home. Nice scenery and not a car on the road. I will blog later about the things I have thought about and learned about myself this weekend. But not now. For more of the photos I took while I was away feel free to visit my webpage galleries.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Stormsriver mouth

Tonight I am blogging from my cellphone. As I have mentioned before , blogging from my phone is not something i particularly like, but tonight I will do so gladly.

You see, for tonight and tomorrow night, I am sleeping in my tent in the Tsitsikamma national park. I must say that this is due , in no small part, to friends who love me and care for me and have supplied money for me to be here.

I am very gratefull to them !

And so , tonight , I sit and I watch and listen to the ocean. And I praise God for who He is.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

That longing feeling......

There is a struggle in me for the last while that I feel the need to place on paper webspace. Due, in part, to the need I have to share my struggle but also due to the fact that verbalising my thought may help me clarify some things for myself.

This post may not make a lot of sense and will probably not be very coherent. Please bear with me as I wrestle through this.

To get to the point.

From since puberty hit me and girls became something else than irritating , giggling things to be ignored , I have had a need (a longing, if you will) to have girlfriend. To have a person in my life that I could love and hold and share that special closeness with. Up to about my 21st birthday I never really had a girlfriend. O how I longed for a girlfriend ! How I longed to also have someone special in my life to love and to hold.

I am guessing that this was/is part of what it means to be a sexual being. The capacity to be attracted to someone , to fall in love , and to love is what defines our sexuality.

Now , being a Christian , and having been raised in a Christian home and Church , I have obviously come in contact with the church's view and opinions on sex and sexuality. And if we have to be honest then the chucrh's view and opnion was usually one of 'Don't!!'

Don't look. Don't touch. Don't enjoy. Don't mention. Don't acknowledge. Don't deal with it. Don't talk about it.

The church has either shied away from dealing with sexuality or has shoved it's head in the sand with an attitude that said ' If we ignore it , it will go away!'. And so , In my mind and I believe many other's , the idea formed that Christianity and Sexuality did not mix. You could be a Christian , or a sexual being , but if you were a Christian and (admitted to be) a sexual being you were sinning.

The problem is that human sexuality will not be denied. It is a part of how God created us. This means that many good, God fearing people , live with a guilt complex about their sexuality. I find that I long for someone to love and hold. And then I feel so guilty about it. Becuase all of the things I heard in my youth comes back to me. Things like : God should be your all. God should fill the void in you. God's love for you is enough.

Maybe I even sprouted some of that nonsense to other people . I hope not. But if I did I am really sorry. Because in the last few months I have learnt that going home to an empty house or getting into an empty bed, sucks. The longing for closeness and human touch and contact is so strong that when an old lady in a prayer meeting rubbed my hand while she was in thought the other day , I nearly broke down and sobbed like a child.

So , I think this post needs to deal with two things. Firstly , I believe that the church needs to wake up and change it's attitude towards sexuality. We need to realise that human beings are sexual beings. We need to stop condeming people about their sexuality and start to help them to develop and nurture their sexuality to the glory of God.

Secondly , I need to deal with the guilt I feel towards my longing for intemacy and closeness to another human being. Maybe I need to learn that it is normal and ok to want to love and be loved.

Pray for me as I walk on this journey while I try to find God's plan and will for my life. And as I sometimes battle these feelings of loneliness and guilt.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Snakes and Ladders and Mental barriers

I have never been very fond of board games. One game I never really liked was 'snakes and ladders'. While it was nice to be able to move my pip up the ladder I hated it when I had to move back down a snake. Sometimes way down - all the way to the beginning.

Isn't it strange how in a marriage you can become so used to your partner? What ? You have never felt that ? Is it only me ?

Ok. Sorry.

I realize that over the 10 years or our marriage I have become very used to Alet. Her way of thinking and doing. Her humor and passions. Her way of looking at things and reacting. And in that state of being 'used to' your partner you become complacent.

Up to today, Alet has not been a significant part of my life for just more than eight months.

Now , let me be honest. I long for somebody to hold and cuddle and put my arms around when I lie in bed at night. I long to love and to share my life. And I long to be loved. To be held and cared for and to feel special and accepted.

But somewhere between this longing and the fulfillment of that longing lies a mental barrier. A barrier that says - you have to start again. You have to learn to love and care and trust again. You have to start all the way back at the beginning.

That same mental barrier is made up of a question also. A question that says - Is it worth it ? Is it really worth it to love and care and trust again ?

Will it be worth it ? I am sure it will. Will I get past this barrier of being scared to get hurt again? I am sure I will . At some point.

If this post is a little confusing and unstructured , please excuse me. This is something that I am still working out in my mind. And I find that blogging sometimes helps me to organize my thoughts.