Shark rock Pier

I actually picked up my camera again and took some photos !!! Can you believe it ??

Time to take my stand.

My best friend, of the last 13 odd years, is gay. It wasn't something she decided to be one day. It wasn't a choice she made or lifestyle she liked. In fact for the last 10 years she tried so very hard to be a normal wife in a normal family.

She is also a Christian. a Follower of Jesus and a woman deeply devoted to God. For 10 years she tried her level best to be a good 'straight' christian wife , and live a normal heterosexual life. But eventually the pressures of living a life of lies got too much. Not being able to be who she was created to be , was slowly killing her. And it was killing me. And so at the end of 2008 we got divorced.

I still love and respect her deeply as a friend and as the mother of my child. And I wish for her all the best that life has to offer. I wish for her joy and happiness and love and peace. I realize that the path before her will not be an easy one. And so , for the little that it is worth, to her and fellow gay or lesbian people , I need to take a stand.

The church is so fond of saying :"love the sinner, but hate the sin". And, though I do not believe that being gay is a sin, I would like to follow this line of thought for a short while.

Jesus said something about loving people . He said "Love your neighbor as yourself".

So let me go with this for a while. As a human being I wish a couple of things for myself. Things like : health, a place to stay, friends, food, love....

Let us look at that one quickly. Love.... I wish for myself someone whom I can love and who can love me. A soul mate. My other half.

I do not want to grow old all alone. I do not want to be celibate. I want to have a soul mate , a lover, a partner. Yes , I want to enjoy the intimacy of sex. So how on earth can I wish these things for myself , yet turn around and say to Alet - you are not allowed to have these things.

I think that it is very, very easy for the church to stand at a distance and say "love the sinner, hate the sin". It is a lot more difficult to say this if it is to the face of some one you love and care for like a son , a daughter or a close friend.

I am convinced that for most gay / lesbian people , being gay was never a choice. It is the way they were born. How can I tell them that the way they were created is wrong. Is a sin. Is not good enough for God.

And so , I say this to any church that sprouts the gay is a sin slogan: You are wrong ! And I will not enter or be part of a church that supports that opinion.

I realize that there is a lot more to this debate , and it was never my intention to try and debate all the points, or cover all the issues. But it was my intention to give all who want to know , an insight into my stand on the subject.

This evening's sunset

Speeding

I was stopped for speeding today.

And I honestly thought I would be able to talk myself out of it. Until I saw the speed cop looking at my dog on the back seat.




































PS: I do believe that this image was created for an add for the VW Gti Golf. But I stand to be corrected. Either way , I thought it was brilliant.

Depression

After valiantly ignoring all the signs for as long as I could and calling what I experienced these last few weeks 'survival mode' I came to the conclusion yesterday that I am on the verge of depression.

Having been there before I know that it is a tough and steep hole to get out of. I realized that things are not going well when I stopped a bit to take stock of myself yesterday and found the following :

• I almost welcomed the deep sadness that came over me yesterday. As if when I can not feel any other emotions like joy or happiness then at least I can feel this emotion of sadness. As if any emotion is better than none at all.
• I have no willpower to do anything more than the routine.
  
• I am not interested in doing new things or meeting new people , or even spending time with any one that will make any demands on the limited emotional resources that I have left.
• At times I feel completely and utterly hopeless.
  
• After having lost 3 kgs recently , I gained 5kg in the past 2 weeks.
• I am irritable and emotionally unstable.
• My sleep patterns are up to sh....!
  

And so I admitted all of this to myself. I went to the chemist to go and buy a vitamin B complex booster. I admitted my sorry state to Neville, Graham and Christelle. And I am making a point of tackling at least one issue that needs dealing with every day.

I need to say that things are already going a little better today. In no small measure, I am sure, due to God looking out for me and helping me.

So please pray for me. But also , realize that things are going better already.


PS: there is a couple blog posts brewing in my mind at the moment. And that is a good thing , me thinks!

My son's birthday

Yesterday my son turned 8. And every year bar one I baked the cake for his birthday. So I drove all the way to Cape Town for the weekend to go and visit him and my (ex) wife* and to go and bake him a cake. In this case , a doggie cake.

I had a great weekend. We played with his new toys and built lots of Lego cars. It was nice to see him again after 4 months and it was good to be able to sit down and chat with Alet.

Thanks guys for a nice weekend.

* : I do not like the term ex wife. It has way too many negative connections. The thing is that we are still good friends. And I still care for her. And so she is not the typical Ex. I know that we will always have a soft spot and care for each other.
I do not want people to associate the negative connections with her. So what do I call her?