Verse for the day

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

On days like this ...

I fail so miserably at believing what my blog title says.

On days like this I think about what lies ahead, and I look at the piles of unpaid bills , and I cringe when the phone rings and the display reads "ID withheld".

And this burden becomes to much. I become focused on my needs and fears. I become stressed out and depressed.

And in all of this I make my God small. I limit Him to what I believe is possible. And to what I believe He thinks of me and what I believe He thinks I am worthy of.

I believe that God is almighty and Loving. But somewhere I lose the plot and I believe that He is all of those things to others , but not to me. That I am different. That I do not deserve any of His love and Grace and care.

Some days are difficult. Some days really hurts. In fact some days really suck!
This is one of those days.

And then to top it all off, I feel guilty for having days like this. What a stupid cycle !

2 comments:

bugs said...

Oh how i wish i had a magic wand...

Steven Jones said...

We all have days like this. I've had days where I've felt on top of the world, where my faith would literally move mountains. Other days, I feel that I just want to hide in a dark corner, just like a mushroom, and have piles of manure shovelled onto me.

No doubt the day my family leaves Uitenhage to return to Johannesburg in January will be a "manure" day for me. After all, God gave me my family - why must I be here, and they up there?

While I don't know your circumstances and what is causing you to have "days like this", I can offer comfort from one of the questions asked of me at my screening: "Have you ever felt disappointed or let down by God?"

After some thought, I realised that while people who claim to be of God may have hurt me deeply, and the institution of God that is the MCSA has caused me to despair more times than I care to think, I cannot holestly say that God has ever let me down.

When Jesus was in the desert being tempted by the devil, and replied "It is written", that is ALL that Jesus had to hold on. But as surely as the angels ministered to our Lord after that particular trial, so too will you be ministered to once you have gone through yours.

Blessings,
Steven