You.

I have loved you. Absolutely.
But I did not show my love the way I should have.
I have loved you . With all my Heart.
But when things did not work out. Did not make sense :
I became selfish and self centered.

Today I wondered; If one day, people will understand ?
That the best way for me to show my love was to set you free.
To not hold on. To allow you to be the woman you were made to be.
What, would more selfishness have brought ?

I pray that you will find contentment, and peace.
And Love.
I pray that you will love, and be loved.
Fully you. And fully alive.
I pray that you will be allowed to be you.
The real you.

Fireproof

Last night I watched a movie called "fireproof".

Here is a description of the movie - shamelessly copied from the fireproof website.

At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules.

Growing up, Catherine Holt always dreamed of marrying a loving, brave firefighter...just like her daddy. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being "good enough" for her husband.

Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks.

As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: "The Love Dare." Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees-for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' new found faith, his already limited interest is further dampened.

While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, "How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?"

When his father explains that this is the love Christ shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And with God's help he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.

But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever...rescuing his wife's heart.

» Read More About FIREPROOF.

I couldn't help but wonder if things would have worked out differently if I had been a better husband . And I realize that it probably would not have. But I am still very, very sorry for the pain and hurt that I caused Alet in the years that we have been married. I realize that I did not do a very good biblical job of showing the love I had for her. But love her , I did! I am sorry for not having shown it the way I should have.

And so , I find other questions queing up to be noticed : .... Would I actually learn from my mistakes and do a better job of it if I get a second chance at marriage one day? Would I actually get a second chance ? or was this it ? Either way , I do not regret the 10 years of marriage that I have had. I do regret not being a better husband though.

;-|