Happiness

Today I walked around in Greenacres shopping centre. And as I walked I looked at the people passing me in the passages. And I saw old people and young people and married couples and dating couples.

And every time I saw a couple pass me a question burned in my mind. " I wonder if he is happy?". "I wonder if she is happy?" . " I wonder if they are having problems?"

Now the reason behind my questions is not some underlying cynicism, although I can be quite a cynic sometimes, but rather a question in my mind that says :" Can I and is it possible to find happiness , or a am I dreaming about something that is not possible ?"

This is what I do .

I drive cars with stickers like this on their noses and tails.

My official job description is "Endurance test Driver"

Must be honest though, it sounds a lot more glamorous than it is.
Unfortunately I am contract bound not to reveal any of the details of my job as far as types of cars , speeds , routes , etc , so this is the best I can do.

The ups and downs of today

Today I started my new job at VW. The job title is that of 'endurance test driver'. Will see how it goes.

Tonight I spoke to my wife. And she is so down and depressed and scared and alone. And it breaks my heart. I wish that I could be there in Cape Town to help her , and assist her and care for her.

But I am 800 km's away and she has to deal with being without a car (it was stolen), and with trying to sort out the insurance. And with trying to find money for the insurance excess. And trying to find money to buy bread and milk.

And I am so far away. And apart from my computer I have nothing more left to sell to raise money to try and help her.... or keep myself alive.

At this moment in time life sucks !!!!

Guess I will go and cry myself to sleep tonight. Maybe tomorrow looks better..... Maybe ...

But , damn it, at this moment I doubt it.

O Lord. ....

My new toy

What a toy !!!

I love it.